MIP: Part 1 – Purse

Long time no post! Life just has a way of making me feel as though I have nothing important to say, and thus keeps me away from blogging. But this morning I just felt inspired by coming across this post at singlemomenough. I would like to take photos of all my things and start making a count. This will definitely be a long term project, since my life feels like it is split in two places what with most of my possessions being at my parent’s house waiting until the day my fiance and I can move out of his parent’s house and into a place of our own. Which, at this point, seems like a far off possibility until I get my student loans paid off as well as getting a better job. I am still chugging along at the veterinary hospital that I work at. I get 10 hours a week if I am lucky. I send out so many resumes but I feel like I am just at the point where I need to stop. Job searching makes me loose my mind a little bit, what with feeling either inadequate all the time and making me feel depressed. But I am still going to keep trying because I have to.

So anyway, here is the first part of my new on going series, which I think I will call ‘Minimalist In Progress’, since I know I have come very far but still have so far to go!

First up…. my purse! I looked at it and thought it was as good a place as any to start, and it is a easy first step since everything is already in one bag.

I really like this purse- I had been looking for a good messenger bag strap style purse for a loooong time (I get so frustrated with the two little handlebar type purses- I want to be able to rest my purse on my shoulder and have my hands free!) and lucked out with this one. It has a good amount of pockets too- one at the top, two small ones in the front, and another one inside the bag.

So here are the secrets of what hide within my bag!

Ta-da! I know some people have more things in their bags, but to me this is still a lot… 4 re-usable bags, coffee cozy, reusable water bottle, iPod, wallet, chopsticks, pen, hand sanitizer, post its, pepper spray, USB, pill case, Altoids tin (used to hold bobby pins!), cute kitty phone bag, little bag with misc. small things inside, tissue book for me, and tissues for others if they ask for some (I do not plan on replacing these once they are used up).

So this gives me a total of 20 items!

Now, to make myself feel better (ha) here is what my purse would look like without all my ‘wanting to save the environment’ extra things.

Just 12 things here. I could have a much small purse if I wasn’t so obsessed with trying to help the environment haha! And if I had to pare it down further, I would let go of the Altoids tin, the iPod, the hello kitty notepad, the USB, the Kleenex, and the carry bag, leaving me with 5 things. Maybe some day. But for right now I like being prepared and having some of the items on hand if need be.

So part one totals 20 items, next up for Part 2 I will examine my jewelry box!

Part 1 – Purse = 20 items
Part 2 – Jewelry Box
Part 3 – Make-Up / Beauty Products
Part 4 – Clothing
Part 5 – Bookshelf
Part 6 – Art Supplies
Part 7 – Misc.

I think that is a good list to start! I might do this is two different segments as well, as these items are basically just me listing the things that I own while I am staying with my fiance’s parents (so obviously I do not have my own pots and pans and utensils and that sort of things yet) but in my storage at home I do have some of those things waiting… Or maybe I should just wait until I have my own place and can figure out what I use and what I don’t…. Oh who knows! At the rate I blog though it will be another year and maybe I’ll be at that point anyway! haha!

Another Year Older

Well last Thursday (the 25th!) I turned 24. I just posted the day before about embracing change and yet still find myself struggling with it and not having made much progress. I am still at my job and still anxious about the future. I really want to embrace being less attached in order to not be so worried all the time about the future, but I find that it is not so easy. When you don’t get enough hours at work and work at a job you really don’t like but haven’t found any other options, how can you not worry? If someone has an answer I would love to hear it. I desperately want to not worry, but when you have so much debt how with no easy answer it seems impossible. I want to leave my job and work towards being happier, but I also know I have a responsibility to my debt and that I really should stay as long as possible.

So that is where I am at right now. Not exactly embracing change, but at least embracing responsibility for now. Maybe someday I’ll be able to quit and just draw and paint and write all day, but it will have to wait. At least I have become much more fiscally responsible than I ever was before. I try not to think about how much money I might have saved up if I had actually saved it when I started working through college. I guess everyone has to start somewhere. I’m also thinking about trying to do NaNoWriMo this year- I hear about it every year and never do it, so maybe this year I’ll give it a try.

As for this post, I wanted to reflect on my birthday/weekend and try to bring some gratefulness into the picture. I got to travel around Lancaster county and bit with my fiance and enjoy delicious food at Shady Maple Smorgasbord! And we went looking at a couple shops and the only things I got were a small pretty bowl and a tiny cat figure and a cute art print that I loved. And we got to get some Shoo-Fly Pie from Dutch Haven- best shoo-fly pie I have ever had! It was just a really nice day, even if it was a bit rainy. On Friday I got to visit my mommom (who is actually my dad’s mom) and my grammie (my mom’s mom) as we all helped weed my grammie’s garden. So it was really nice to get to see them as I don’t get to see them often. I had a bit of an awkward moment when my grampie asked if I had a full time job yet, to which I awkwardly denied, and just left me feeling somewhat disappointed with myself. I doubt anything I ever do will be good enough for him. Unfortunately I don’t have the connections he has nor the extrovertedness/confidence and won’t ever be successful as he is. But all in all it was a nice day getting to see everyone and then my parents took me out for dinner at a nice restaurant. Later on my dad made popcorn and we watched a movie. On Saturday my fiance and I went to the Renaissance Fair – I did a lot of driving unfortunately! – and it was nice, but not as much fun as I have had in the past. Now that I have become more minimalist it has lost a bit of it’s fun, since I don’t really care about the shopping as much anymore. We mostly just bought food to eat and try. It is just too expensive there though! And with so many people it just can be too much for me at times. If we ever go again I would just go for the half price later time option to be able to enjoy the atmosphere for a little bit.

So even though I am sad it had to end, I am grateful for my lovely weekend. I am grateful for my fiance and my family and my friends. I guess even though I still don’t really know what I am doing with my life, at least I have some good people to help me figure it all out.

Struggling to Embrace Change

Photo of myself taken a few years ago by Nikki Sunday (https://www.facebook.com/nikkisundayart )

I am definitely one of those people who have a hard time embracing change, aside from maybe the change of the seasons- I feel my soul is rejoicing with the arrival of fall. I am definitely an autumn child- I turn 24 tomorrow. I have always loved September, looking forward to my birthday, to school starting again, to the change in temperature and with it the leaves changing color. I just love it.

I wish I could say I was so enthusiastic about other changes in life.

I must admit that right now I am struggling. It’s been two months since I finished my second degree and I just know deep down in my heart that it is not what I am meant to do. I am gripped by a sense of dread when I go to work. Maybe things could have been different under different circumstances, that’s something I will never know, but as it stands I just cannot continue on this path. I guess I am glad that I am at least able to admit that. I am tired of running away from these feelings.

Right now I just keep worrying about the future. Uncertainty scares me to death. My whole life I have just wanted to know my path and follow it and not have to worry. Yet, that often causes me the most worry because of the struggle to stay on the path and follow it no matter what. Or feeling guilty and afraid for loosing it. My boss at work told me I should think about giving my two weeks notice, all because of a stupid mistake. I have been told that part of the problem is she wants me to continue on the path that I know I am not destined for, and that she is trying to push me back. But that is not my problem, that is hers. I would be happy to stay where I am, although there are definitely a lot more negative feelings associated with being there than there was prior to this conversation. I desperately want to give in and give my two weeks! I am only holding on because I fear the unknown. I fear not having a job. I fear my loans being due and not having the ability to pay them. I fear being totally dependent on others while I am not making any money. I fear not having a purpose and not finding a new job.

My biggest fear is that I am just not good enough. I have been searching for a new job for awhile now and not turning up anything. I don’t know if it is my lack of confidence or my social anxiety tendencies, but I cannot seem to find anything that suits me. I know I am a kind and patient person and I do the best job I can when I am given it, but I just don’t measure up to others in skills or extroversion. Which seems to just feed into a cycle of depression and anxiety.

I am contemplating giving my notice today. The safety part of me screams not to, but the rest of me is desperately wishing to do so.

I wish I could embrace this change the way I embrace the change of seasons.

 

First week without a smartphone

So last week, after much effort and frustration, I got rid of my iPhone. Had it for two years and when the contract was up I knew that I wanted to let it go. I gave it a great amount of thought and as I mentioned in my previous post I had started deleting apps from it a few months prior to prepare myself for not having any. If you are wanting to get rid of a smart phone that is definitely a helpful step in transitioning back to a non-smartphone.

But now it is done. I made the switch. And I couldn’t be happier that I did.

I do not constantly check this phone because there is nothing to really check. I told all my friends/family/contact list prior to the switch that I was switching and that I would no longer have unlimited text/calling. So, not that I got a lot of that before, now my phone is mostly silent. I take care with my words and don not take them for granted because I know they are limited. I do not waste my time with my phone. I actually will turn the phone off when i got to sleep because there is no point in having it on. It feels really nice to not have to need the newest technology to function. I am happy that I am going back and reusing something that works perfectly fine even though it is a few years old and not the latest and greatest.

I no longer feel like I am obsessed with my technology (at least phone wise, using my laptop less is my next minimal technology goal). I am also saving myself money and being more independent. My phone was also connected to my parent’s family plan since it made monetary sense to do so. But with our cell phone carrier (*cough*Verizon*cough*) raising prices I could not afford it. It was $40 a month for the smart phone…. $40!! That is $480 a year! Switching to Tracfone, and re-using the Verizon phone I had before we switched to smartphones, saves me $380 a year! My phone is considered an android phone so I automatically get triple minutes, which is fantastic and was a wonderful surprise. So I spent a total of $120 to get a network access code for the number porting process and then $108 ish to buy the one year service and got 1200 minutes!

My non-smart phone also has a much better battery life- I have not had to charge it in the week since I switch and it is still halfway charged!

There are definitely some downsides, as with anything. I need to use my fiance’s iPhone to deposit my checks into my bank because there are no branches of my bank in this area. So if I wasn’t able to use his phone for that I would have to wait until I went to my parent’s house to deposit all my checks. And I know if I need to make an appointment or be put on hold not having unlimited minutes could become a problem. But overall I am pleased to have made the switch to more simple.

I just felt like making a small update about how not having a smart phone was going because I kept seeing phone commercials which make me truly see how obsessed we are with our phones. I was sick last week and basically spent the whole day watching Food Network and watching chef’s face off in cooking battles. An enjoyable way to spend my sick day in bed (I can’t believe how much more obsessed I am with watching cooking shows now- I never knew I loved to cook so much until I started doing it more!) but -ugh- the commercials! So annoying. And I saw a number of phone commercials… Quite a bit, just making it clear to me that people are obsessed with their phones! One was for a dad photographing his daughter playing soccer with his phone, but aw shucks, the sun is in the lens and i can’t take a good picture! Then his wife(?) is looking at it looking frustrated or something… All I could think was that you are missing your daughters game so you can take a picture of her playing the game?! Why don’t you just actually be present in the moment and watch instead of worry about your camera! Another commercial (watch it here if you want to waste your time) was set at a family barbeque type setting and there are two dads and one is upset about “Being stuck here instead of watching the game” while his children are having a great time playing and having fun outside. What does the other dad do? Pull out his phone! They can watch the game right there and ignore their kids and family! I think that one was a bit more frustrating to me. Who needs to make memories with their kids and family when you really just want to be at home watching men run around with a ball on TV? Priorities, right?

But I am happy with my choice and I feel so much more freedom in not having a smartphone. Even if that means I can’t  ignore my family to watch football on my phone.

Simple Recipe: Delicious Dip!

I have been wanting to share this recipe on my blog for a while now and am happy that I am finally doing it!

This is a recipe that my dad has always made for my sister and I growing up, and I am pretty sure he got the recipe from his mom, as our grandmother (or as we call her: mommom – even though she would technically be dadmom, that doesn’t have the same ring to it lol) would often make this at family get-togethers as well. I have always loved this dip and it was always a treat when dad would make it for us. Now that I am an “grown-up” myself, I can make it whenever I want- which is usually only once a month (or less often) because this stuff is addicting and you will end up eating a whole bag of chips… Which is not the healthiest thing to do! Some days it is easier to just make some french onion dip, but for days when you have the time to make this dip, it is definitely worth the small bit of extra effort. I have made this for sleepovers a couple of times and it is always a hit! I know it sounds like a weird combination (olives and chips? sounds gross!) but it really is good!

Here’s what you’ll need.

– 1 package of Cream Cheese. I usually use Neufchâtel cheese found right next to the cream cheese at the store since it does have a slightly lower fat content and with all the chips to be eaten cutting out a little fat where you can makes me feel at least a little bit better about eating so much! ha! Plus I personally haven’t noticed much of a difference, if at all, from the Cream Cheese, so I figure I might as well make it a bit healthier where I can, especially since taste is not sacrificed. My dad who thinks skim milk is like drinking water, might differ with me on this one though haha!

– Milk. Again, I cut out the fat where I can and usually use 2% or lower milks. My dad only ever uses whole milk. And you don’t need a whole container or anything, just a small amount.

– Olives. I try to use reduced sodium if I can since the chips you eat it with will obviously be salty too, you don’t want to over load on the salt.

– Along with: Onion, Parsley, Oregano, garlic.

I have never made this with fresh parsley but I imagine it would be delicious! I would also like to try making this with actual sliced garlic instead of using the garlic salt and see how it tastes, but I haven’t gotten around to doing so yet- like I said, don’t make it very often!

And that’s all you need to make some amazing dip!

Here’s the how-to:

1.) Let the cream cheese soften for a bit before starting. Or you could be like me and just attempt to mash it all to hell with a fork because you forgot to let it soften before starting 🙂

2.) Dice up around 9 medium olives. I try to dice as small as possible because it would be a bit weird to be eating a chip and have a giant chunk of olive on it haha! Then take your small onion and chop up a pile that is about the same size as your pile of olives. Usually ends up being around half of the onion. Alternatively if you don’t have any fresh onions on hand/want to save some time, use dried minced onion. Fresh tastes better, but having made it with the dried stuff many times as well it is still pretty good.

3.) Add your olives and onions to the cream cheese. Then take your olive jar and, making sure that no whole olives fall in, pour some olive juice in the bowl. I never measure it when I make it, I just add some. You can always add more if you think it needs it.

4.) Next we add everything else! Pour in a little bit of milk. The milk is mostly to thin out the dip, so don’t add too much milk! Add a little bit at a time. Again, you can always add more later! Better to start off with less because this stuff is good a little bit on the thicker side.

5.) Add a shit ton of Parsley. You just can’t go wrong with the parsley. The oregano, on the other hand, you can definitely go wrong with! I once accidentally dumped a lot of oregano in and although I managed to get a lot of it out it was still way too much! It made the dip taste oddly sweet… So just do a couple shakes of it. Same with the garlic, just sprinkle some in. I don’t think I need to repeat it again but I will- you can always add more later!

6.) Mix it up! Sometimes if you are like me and you didn’t let the cream cheese soften it might take a bit of effort to do so. But so worth it.

Your final mixture should look something like this:

Sooo delicious! And as you read, this recipe is not very specific when it comes to measurements or amounts- a lot of it is just judgement. After I mix it thoroughly I open my bag of chips and give it a try and make adjustments from there (usually involving either adding more parsley or more olive juice). If your dip is so thick that your chips all break you can either go to the store and buy different chips (I recommend using chips that are not thin type chips- kettle cooked are my favorite!) or just add a little bit more milk until you get the consistency that you want. You will find what works for you! I have never tried eating this with raw veggies but I bet it would taste pretty good with that too. Usually about 3-4 people can easily finish this off in a night with maybe a little left over. It stays good in the fridge for a few days up to around a week or so.

Here’s a condensed recipe for saving/printing 🙂

 

Recipe: Homemade Chip Dip

Ingredients:
– 1 packaged Cream Cheese (or Neufchâtel Cheese)
– Milk for thinning
– 1/2 small onion (or dried minced onions)
– 8-9 small/medium low sodium olives
– Parsley
– Oregano
– Garlic Salt

1.) Let the cream cheese soften for a bit before starting.

2.) Dice up around 9 medium olives as small as you can.  Then take your small onion and chop up a pile that is about the same size as your pile of olives. Usually ends up being around half of the onion. Add your olives and onions to the cream cheese, then pour some olive juice in the bowl.

3.) Pour in a little bit of milk. The milk is mostly to thin out the dip, so don’t add too much milk!

4.) Add a good amount of Parsley, a couple shakes of Oregano, and sprinkle some Garlic Salt. Thoroughly mix and then make adjustments as needed for personal taste.

Tips:
– Err on the side of adding less milk, oregano, and garlic. You can always add more if you like.
– This dip is better when it is thicker rather than runnier, and sturdier chips will dip better!- Can double the batch for larger parties or people, it will definitely go fast!

 

Enjoy!